Nicodemus the Pharisee (Pt. 1)
On Meeting With Us In the Darkness
Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with that person” (John 3:1-2 NRSVUE).
Nicodemus approaches Jesus at night, in the darkness, in order not to be seen; he knows that many of his fellow Pharisees have set themselves in opposition to Jesus, and he does not want to step out of line with them. It is especially ironic that Nicodemus only feels able to approach the “light of all people” (1:4) in the darkness—and it reveals that Nicodemus is not yet willing to take the step of faith that is required to follow Jesus in the light.
Nicodemus has thought seriously about the conflict between two opposing visions of Jesus—a sinner in conflict with the religious establishment, or a miraculous wonder-worker who comes from God—and has come to a conclusion: “no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with that person” (3:2). Jesus is from God, this much is certain; out of this certainty, Nicodemus come to Jesus to learn more, and begins by saying that he knows God working through him. How else can he do these signs?
It is strangely comforting that this conversation happens in secret and in the darkness, when Nicodemus is not ready to have out in the open and in the light. Jesus is more than willing to meet Nicodemus exactly where he is: unable or unwilling to step out of line with his fellow Pharisees. While Jesus certainly pokes fun and challenges Nicodemus, he does not refuse to dialogue with or teach him. We should probably not be too harsh with Nicodemus for his caution; with a little reflection, we can certainly understand his hesitancy to follow Jesus in the open. For Nicodemus, there is a risk involved in such public association: a loss of relationships, opportunities, reputation, etc. Being known as a follower of Jesus came with real drawbacks, and so it makes sense that Nicodemus wants to learn more before committing his life.
Many of us have certainly spent our time in the darkness: a "closet” of secrecy, of fear and shame, of doubt. Some of us spent years in this darkness, too frightened to live one undivided life and choosing instead to live two half-lives: one in public and one in private. And this is understandable! For others, it has been so long since we have lived in that darkness that we have almost forgotten what it was like—we have been “out of the closet” for so long that we do not remember what it was like to be “in”—but there may still be moments when we wish we could live a different life, when we could retreat into secrecy again. This private secrecy can be a comfort to us, because it allows us to consider things ourselves without the interference of others.
The darkness can certainly be overwhelming, but we know that there is no place from which God is truly absent. Whatever our particular experiences of the darkness, the “closet,” this conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus shows us that we can take courage: Jesus is willing to come meet us in the darkness, when we are unwilling—or unable—to live in the light.