Reflections on Revoice25

What are we building at Revoice?

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

“Then I said to them, ‘You see the trouble we are in, how Jerusalem lies in ruins with its gates burned. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, so that we may no longer suffer disgrace.’ I told them that the hand of my God had been gracious upon me and also the words that the king had spoken to me. Then they said, ‘Let us start building!’ So they committed themselves to the common good” (Nehemiah 2:17-18 NRSVUE).

This past week, I once again had the opportunity to attend Revoice (an ecumenical Christian conference geared toward LGBTQ+/SSA folks who submit to what is often called a “traditional sexual ethic”). I have sometimes led breakout sessions at the conference (you can read portions of some of those sessions here, here, and here), but this year I had no responsibilities—so I just got to spend the week connecting with friends, learning about the work being done by various ministry leaders and organizations, discussing how to build a world in which sexual and gender minorities can thrive, and resting in a unique environment of understanding, support, and visibility.

There is really nothing quite like Revoice, and if you have not had the opportunity to attend, I highly recommend it (especially if you are a Christian sexual or gender minority). As I have tried to do in years past, I wanted to offer a few reflections about my experience of the conference this year. I am sure that more will come to me in the next couple weeks of reflection, but in the days immediately following the conference, I have three main thoughts:

Pursuing the “traditional sexual ethic” as a sexual or gender minority—sometime called “Side B”—is both strange and normal.

As I have written elsewhere, I believe it is important to hold the spirituality of being strange and the spirituality of being normal in fruitful tension. Pursuing one without the other can lead to a lopsided faith that does not appropriately appreciate and challenge the real world. It has always been easy to see how Side B experience is strange: pursuing lifelong celibacy or mixed-orientation marriage in societies that are deeply individualistic, that idolize sex and marriage, or both certainly stands out. But I got a fresh sense this time around that this way of life is also, in another sense, not so peculiar.

A lot of experiences at the conference went in to this realization. The number of Revoice attendees has continued to grow every year, and this year brought the most in-person attendees ever. More than 600 people made the trek to Seattle, Washington for the conference, and a great many of these attendees—around 300!—were there for the very first time. Not all of these attendees were sexual or gender minorities, and not all of them were Side B (shout out to our straight cisgender allies and Side A siblings!), but most of them were. It became clear: we may feel lonely or isolated when we go back to our homes after gatherings like this, but at least for four or five days it is pretty difficult to hold on to the belief that we are entirely alone.

Second, the diversity of attendees has also continued to expand. Revoice attendees this year arrived from all over the United States and the world. In my own personal meetings, I got to talk with folks from Australia, Scotland, Kenya, and more. Even the fact the the conference was held at a church in Seattle helped reveal how it can take root anywhere; it was interesting to see how the conference took shape in the culture of the Pacific Northwest.

And third, the conversations I was able to have with attendees also did much to strengthen my sense that Side B is both normal and viable. I was blessed to chat with a middle-aged gay man who came to faith mere months ago, and whose reading of the Bible convinced him to consider pursuing celibacy, several young LGBTQ+/SSA folks whose discovery of a podcast opened up a whole new world to them, and a campus minister who traced for me a journey of uprooting the internalized homophobia that stood as an obstacle his spiritual growth. Not to mention all the straight cisgender attendees whose faith has been re-ignited by the faith LGBTQ+/SSA believers!

God is moving to care for LGBTQ+/SSA folks in various and sundry ways, and meeting us in the particularity of our lives. We are not merely in an obscure corner of the Church or the world, but also at its living center—and we are building a place and way of life in which we can thrive, not just survive.

The Side B community is incredibly diverse, and it is impossible to provide something that meets all our needs at once.

I believe that Side B is big enough to include those who have made various journeys when it comes to sexual ethics: from a Side A perspective to Side B, from an ex-gay perspective to Side B, from another faith tradition or not faith tradition at all. Each of these moves shapes how a person experiences Side B, both the values they cherish and the dangers they tend to emphasize.

Side B is also big enough to include those who feel little or no tension in becoming involved in LGBTQ+ culture and those who prefer to keep their distance, those who are open to celibate same-sex relationships or mixed-orientation marriages and those who consider them to be unwise, those in intentional communities and those living singleness, sexual minorities and gender minorities, those who prefer the language of “same-sex attracted” and those who use sexual identity language, those at the beginning of their journey of reconciling faith, sexuality, and gender and those who find that the idea of reconciliation between them to be a little misleading.

Any gathering is limited, and will not be equally helpful for everyone in attendance—and Revoice is no different. Eating the meat and spitting out the bones, accepting what is helpful and ignoring what is unhelpful, is an important skill for anyone, but is essential for those who so often go without the resources they need to pursue a healthy spiritual life. How can we all continue to sit at (and continue to invite our siblings to) the same table, recognizing that not every dish will be to our liking? It is better to enjoy a meal together than it is to eat alone—or worse, go hungry.

Revoice is one organization among many who are doing outstanding work in supporting sexual and gender minorities.

Revoice has accomplished so much over the years, and its continued growth is powerful evidence of the Holy Spirit’s activity among sexual and gender minorities. I thank God for the ways God has used Revoice in my life, and in the lives of so many others! But Revoice is not the only show in town, and is not a one-stop shop. A few fabulous organizations had booths at Revoice this year, and attendees were able to engage with their particular missions and visions that involve so much more than just caring for Side B people.

• Eden Invitation is a community of LGBTQ+ disciples that “creates space to receive the whole person, grow systems of mutual support, and empower for creative discipleship” rooted in the Roman Catholic tradition. The resources they provide are beautifully composed and thoughtful, and the community is tight-knit and welcoming.

• Posture Shift offers training and consulting services and resources on LGBTQ+ inclusion and care for churches and other organizations. The organization is doggedly determined not only to support sexual and gender minorities in crisis, but to go about changing the systems that put them in positions of instability and danger in the first place.

• New Kinship (formerly Communion and Shalom) is a podcast focusing on “exploring and renewing ideas of desire, ethnicity, sexuality, and being a neighbor in the Kingdom of God.” They have facilitated conversations on a wide variety of topics related to faith, sexuality, and gender, and have done so with exceptional depth and nuance.

But through conversations with friends and other ministry leaders at Revoice, I was also greatly encouraged by hearing stories of organizations who did not have a more visible presence at the conference this year:

• Kaleidoscope Ministries seeks to provide LGBTQ+/SSA people with “opportunities to engage with tangible expressions of Christ” through community building, community service, education, and mentorship. They are incredibly thoughtful folks who are invested in cultivating an inclusive and dignifying culture for LGBTQ+/SSA people.

• Josh Proctor (who some readers know as the producer and ringleader for the Life on Side B podcast) is a man who never seems to stop developing resources for LGBTQ+/SSA folks interested in exploring faith and spirituality. His latest project draws on his decades of experience and groundbreaking research: Becoming Whole, “a 7-episode podcast that explores spiritual formation and LGBTQ+ emotional health.” This is just one facet of his new practice of spiritual direction and inclusion training, Wholly Ourselves, that integrates spirituality and sexuality.

• To provide a little plug a couple projects with which I am involved, A Side B Collective is building an online platform to showcase the artistry and creativity of the Side B community, and Building Catholic Futures (led by a powerhouse duo with decades of experience in mentoring and accompanying LGBTQ+/SSA people and supported by a great cloud of witnesses) is doing something genuinely innovative in its approach to LGBTQ+/SSA discipleship and formation by emphasizing unnoticed vocations, telling good stories, and expecting the unexpected.

Of course, only so much can be communicated about the conference through words. I encourage anyone who has not had the chance to attend the conference to consider attending next year in Columbus, Ohio! For readers who attended in person or watched the live stream, is there anything about the conference this time around that was especially encouraging or challenging for you? Was there a message that stuck with you, that seemed especially applicable to your life? What kind of community did you experience? Let me know, and let’s keep building something together.