Wombs and Tombs (Pt. 2)
Coming Out, Baptism, and Rebirth
In a previous post, I explored the first of two aspects of the Church’s reflection on baptism: the theme of resurrection, set forth succinctly and directly by the apostle Paul in Romans 6. In reflecting on this theme, I connected baptism with coming out of the closet, suggesting how both are rituals that celebrate the victory of new life over death—whether “big death” (as in baptism) or the “little death” of the closet. After being pushed behind the closet door or submerged beneath the surface of the water in the baptismal pool, we emerge to “walk in newness of life”. But the other aspect of the Church’s reflection on baptism—the theme of rebirth—is also illuminating when considered alongside coming out.
In John 3, the author of the Gospel uses this theme of rebirth to describe the significance of baptism:
Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with that person.” Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?”
Jesus answered, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:1-8 NRSVUE).
Entering the kingdom of God requires a new kind of life that can only come about by a new birth—a birth “from above” (the Greek word used here carries two potential meanings, “from above” and “again,” which explains some of Nicodemus’s confusion). Those who wish to enter the kingdom must be born “of water and spirit”—and baptism represents this new spiritual birth. Rather than emerging from a tomb, baptism here is conceived of as being born; the image of a barren grave fades away, and one of a fruitful and nurturing womb takes its place. This makes sense of the traditional practice of receiving a new name upon baptism, usually of a Christian saint—being born again means being named again, and finding one’s place in a new community.
Earlier, I mentioned that the phrase “coming out of the closet” is likely drawn in part from the “skeleton in the closet,” which highlights the connection between the closet and the tomb, coming out and resurrection. But is important to note the other source for the phrase: the “coming out ball” or debutante ball, a celebration in which young aristocratic women come of age and are introduced to polite society. “Coming out,” when viewed from this angle, is less about a reversal of death, and more about stepping into maturity and being welcomed into a new community.
Yes, the closet can be understood as a kind of tomb, one which keeps one isolated and stagnant—a “little death”—and coming out of the closet is then a kind of resurrection. But the closet might also be understood as a kind of womb, and thinking this way, other correspondences between baptism (understood as rebirth) and coming out of the closet become clear. Coming out means coming into oneself, coming of age, coming to maturity. The closet—like a womb—can afford the safety, security, and solitude one needs first in order to come out; in doing so, one expresses a new identity that has developed within, in secret silence. And coming out, as in baptism, one is welcomed into a new community—or “chosen family”.
Viewing coming out of the closet through the lens of rebirth, the closet becomes a place of intimate encounter between oneself and God, an embryonic stage in which one learns, grows, and develops in preparation for entering a community; rather than leaving the closet behind in a kind of desperate flight from death, it can become a surprising source of strength.