Great list! I’m a privately vowed celibate Catholic man, and I would add four to the list that I’ve personally experienced:
1.) Offer nothing in your diocese for single people between ages 18 and 45 except for a young adults group which is quietly really a matchmaking club for single Catholics.
2.) Pray for “priests, religious, deacons, holy marriages and holy families” during every Mass, but never pray for single people, not even in the petitions. I actually know of someone who, sadly, left the Catholic Church after attending this parish because she didn’t see a place in the Church for single people.
3.) In your men’s group, use a curriculum that is not relatable at all to the experiences of celibate men.
4.) Recognize anniversaries during the petitions but the special prayer offered for those people during anniversaries is written so that it only applies to wedding anniversaries and doesn’t include consecrated virgins or privately vowed celibate laypeople (or religious or priests, for that matter).
Great list, Grant. I would add one: Depicting marriage and having children as basically without suffering, and treating each family as if they can survive in isolation from one another.
This is a kind of marriage and family idolatry that comes back to bite people who are married with families, once they realize that, especially having children, but also working on one’s marriage relationship, is quite difficult.
Recognizing the difficulty and trials of marriage and family opens up space for those who are single and celibate and those who are married to see their need of one another. It also counters the vision of marriage as a kind of temporal salvation.
Great list! I’m a privately vowed celibate Catholic man, and I would add four to the list that I’ve personally experienced:
1.) Offer nothing in your diocese for single people between ages 18 and 45 except for a young adults group which is quietly really a matchmaking club for single Catholics.
2.) Pray for “priests, religious, deacons, holy marriages and holy families” during every Mass, but never pray for single people, not even in the petitions. I actually know of someone who, sadly, left the Catholic Church after attending this parish because she didn’t see a place in the Church for single people.
3.) In your men’s group, use a curriculum that is not relatable at all to the experiences of celibate men.
4.) Recognize anniversaries during the petitions but the special prayer offered for those people during anniversaries is written so that it only applies to wedding anniversaries and doesn’t include consecrated virgins or privately vowed celibate laypeople (or religious or priests, for that matter).
These are also great!
Great list, Grant. I would add one: Depicting marriage and having children as basically without suffering, and treating each family as if they can survive in isolation from one another.
This is a kind of marriage and family idolatry that comes back to bite people who are married with families, once they realize that, especially having children, but also working on one’s marriage relationship, is quite difficult.
Recognizing the difficulty and trials of marriage and family opens up space for those who are single and celibate and those who are married to see their need of one another. It also counters the vision of marriage as a kind of temporal salvation.
This is a great insight!
Well stated!